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selections from
Americano
a new poetry collection by
Emanuel Xavier
"NEWFOUND MORALITY"
Offering myself to the night
to be devoured sweetly
with hunger in my belly
hunger in my heart
Alcohol loosening the contours of my pride
inhaling the thick smoke of a cigarette
like a roughneck of undistinguished personality
I give myself to you without price
more than just pretext or occasion
aware that life always puts frailty
in vulgar positions
Waking up the next morning
when fatigue flushes me with tenderness
that makes me horny
to allow you to penetrate me deeply
ramming it hard and calmly
marked like stigmata
Stroking myself until I discharge the most profuse joy
into the toothless mouth of Jean Genet's dead body
The motionless unclean coils of a writhing serpent
emerge from your eyes and spread to your face
as you cum inside the walls of your prison cell
to fulfill me with newfound morality
"SEPTEMBER SONG"
The most vivid reflection was the idea of being on top of the world
standing higher than the clouds on one of two metal twins
far removed from religions which crumble in the hands of ignorance
and countries where freedom of speech is a mouth full of blood
high above the perversions and sins that held me down
feeling closest to heaven, baptized by the winds of Oyá
without much thought to the corporations below which provided this peace
Days after towers crumble to the ground,
finally coming out of the rubble and dusting off the depression
Standing by the West Side Highway piers
where, from the distance, they once illuminated the darkness of my loneliness
many homeless and sleepless nights out on the streets
with the hope that someday I too could reach the sky and feel the grace of God
Through the emptiness in the skyline of my soul and the curly smoke
I imagine those who have suffered at the hands of oppression and hate
rising like a flock of pigeons
flying high and together in unspoken agreement
An old woman watches from across the street
something sacred behind tearful eyes
perhaps the secret to true Beauty
wearing a shawl to keep herself warm
while pacing back and forth with a fading photograph
& I realize to live as I have lived is surely absurd
Peace may not exist throughout the insanity of our world
but it can never be taken hostage from the kingdom within me
Buildings, dreams and lives may have fallen
but the walls I built around myself have also tumbled down
I still stand in a city left behind with corporate orphans and empty beds
learning to love again
without fear and with hope for a new beginning
"AMERICANO"
I look at myself in the mirror
trying to figure out what makes me an American
I see Ecuador and Puerto Rico
I see brujo spirits moving across the backs of Santeros
splattered with the red blood of sacrificed chickens
on their virgin white clothes and blue beads for Yemaya
practicing religions without a roof
I see my own blood
reddening the white sheets of a stranger
proud American blue jean labels on the side of the bed
I see Don Rosario in his guayabera
sitting outside the bodega
with his Puerto Rican flag
reading time in the eyes of alley cats
I see my mother trying to be more like Marilyn Monroe than Julia De Burgos
I see myself trying to be more like James Dean than Federico Garcia Lorca
I see Carlos Santana, Gloria Estefan,
Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez
More than just sporadic Latin explosions
More like fireworks on el Cuatro de Julio
as American as Bruce Springsteen, Janis Joplin,
Elvis Presley and Aretha Franklin
I see Taco Bells and chicken fajitas at McDonald's
I see purple, blue, green, yellow and orange
I see Chita Rivera on Broadway
I am as American as lemon merengue pie
as American as Wonder Woman's panties
as American as Madonna's bra
as American as the Quinteñeros, the Abduls, the Lees,
the Jacksons, the Kennedys
all immigrants to this soil since none sound American Indian to me
as American as television snow after the anthem is played
and I am not ashamed
Jose, can you see…
I pledge allegiance
to this country 'tis of me
land of dreams and opportunity
land of proud detergent names and commercialism
land of corporations
If I can win gold medals at the Olympics
sign my life away to die for the United States
No Small-town hick is gonna tell me I ain't an American
because I can spic in two languages
coño carajo y fuck you
This is my country too
where those who do not believe in freedom and diversity
are the ones who need to get the hell out
Emanuel Xavier is also author of the poetry collection, Pier Queen, and the Lambda Literary Award nominated debut novel, Christ-Like. He is the recipient of a Marsha A. Gomez Cultural Heritage Award for his contributions to gay and Latino culture, and has been selected as Poet Laureate of the 2002 Brooklyn Pride celebration.
More information about Emanuel Xavier HERE
More information about Americano HERE
email Emanuel Xavier
NEWFOUND MORALITY, SEPTEMBER SONG, AMERICANO
© 2002 Emanuel Xavier
The work featured in this journal is under copyright protection
by the individual authors and artists and may not be duplicated
or reprinted without their permission.
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