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I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage

edited by
Greg Wharton and Ian Philips

Praise for I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage

"Although the California Supreme Court voided their 2004 marriage and those of almost 4000 other gay newlyweds, Wharton and Philips consider themselves spouses for life. Their rich anthology of 132 provocative essays by many well-known authors and first-time essayists makes compelling personal arguments for gay marriage, against it, and all in between."

—Jim Van Buskirk, Library Journal

Read the full article here.

"With 132 contributors, from Allison (Dorothy) to Wolfson (Evan), this collection of romantic fiction, goopy poetry, intense rants, dry legal defenses, witty wedding-day memoirs, and deeply personal vows takes a gander at queers and marriage from every possible perspective. This is good. For all the giddy hoopla and happy tears of individual ceremonies, an anthology honest enough to explore many sides of an issue that does indeed divide queers is overdue—and certainly a standout from the current deluge of wedding books. On the I Don't side, Cheryl Clarke declares, unambiguously, 'Marriage trivializes our partnerships.' On the I Do side, Jim Gladstone writes: 'Every wedding is an exquisitely awkward marriage of idealism and acceptance...which in and of itself is a case for same-sex couples, isn't it?' And Christopher Bram straddles the middle ground with grace and eloquence: he and his partner of 25 years have no desire to wed, but what he loves 'about gay marriage, without reservation, is how the very idea of it infuriates Christian conservatives.'"

—Richard Labonte, Book Marks

"Some contributors are dizzy with joy, and already married. Others despise the notion of wedded bless. The rest are ambivalent--and that's the glory of this raucous but never rancorous anthology of LGBT voices."

—Richard Labonte, "Best Books of 2004" Book Marks

"I Do/I Don't is a fascinating read for anyone interested in the politics of marriage, especially those who have grown tired of the trite right-left debates about same-sex marriage. It's also a gift to teachers and professors, who no doubt will appreciate the ease of assigning their students to read any handful of the short essays and invigorating their students' thinking on a major contemporary political issue. You won't agree with everything you read in this anthology. But you'll probably be impressed by the intelligence, humor, passion, insight, and humanity you'll find in its pages."

—Dorian Solot, Alternatives to Marriage Project

Read the full review here.

"Why Marriage Matters is the best argument for same-sex marriage in print. However, as reading material, I much prefer I Do/I Don't: Queers On Marriage. Greg Wharton and Ian Philips are not just publisher and editor in chief, respectively, of Suspect Thoughts Press. They are also real-life partners who got hitched in San Francisco during that city's Winter of Love (2004). I Do/I Don't is their contribution to the great debate. Like Sullivan, Wharton and Philips' compilation features contributions by a score of writers with various views, only in this case they are all part of our own lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered/intersex/queer community. The 100-plus contributors are a veritable GLBT 'who's who,' and include the likes of Dorothy Allison, Bruce Bawer, Patrick Califia, Christian de la Huerta, Lisa Duggan, Jim Gladstone, Brent Hartinger, Davina Kotulski, Michael T. Luongo, Tim Miller, Felice Picano, Shar Rednour, Sarah Schulman, Tristan Taormino and Wolfson, just to name a few. Some of the writers view marriage as an outdated form of heterosexual oppression, while others see marital unions as the road to queer Nirvana. The way these people express their differences is just as diverse, and includes personal essays, fiction, poetry, nonfiction, vows, rants, love letters, and sermons. All in all, I Do/I Don't is both entertaining and informative, affirming and infuriating, and simply the best GLBT anthology in print today."

—Jesse Monteagudo, The Weekly News

"I Do/I Don't is a hefty collection of essays, poems, and stories which cover the various aspects of same-sex marriage. As the title hints, not all of our gay brothers and sisters favor the institution. Editors Greg Wharton and Ian Philips are to be commended for this massive effort, which surely will have some pieces that will stimulate lively discussions no matter which side of the marriage fence people are on."

—Hal Campbell, We the People

"Marriage. It's no secret that the topic has become politicized and has polarized even gay and lesbian people. But so few of our diverse queer perspectives are actually being heard in the media.

"This incredible anthology is comprised of opinions by well-known writers as well as ordinary queer folk, through poetry, fiction, essays, interviews, vows, love letters, sermons, and more. Dorothy Allison reveals the conflict between her feminism and the concept of marrying. Christopher Bram, partnered for 25 years, ponders his indifference to marriage. Patrick Califia describes how negative heterosexual examples of marriage have made him a pessimist regarding the institution. Anne Campbell fascinates with a recounting of her marriage to her lesbian lover/transgender transformation to male—and the effect it had on family and friends. Margaret Cho is brash and honest about how gay marriage won't make this a gay nation. Sean Meriwether explores labels we use for our partners to avoid gender specific marriage titles. Lesléa Newman delights with a humorous narrative about a lesbian wedding. And ISO's own editor-in-chief David Rosen expresses with heartfelt emotion why he is marrying his partner-putting into words sentiments so many of us share.

"These are just a few of the wonderful viewpoints on gay marriage in this collection, which also includes writings by Simon Sheppard, Patricia Nell Warren, Felice Picano, Janet Mason, and dozens more."

InsightOut Book Club

"Gay Marriage: A fight for equality?…or the wrong fight? It's no secret that the topic has become politicized and has polarized even gays and lesbians. Many are anxiously waiting a chance to wed. Many others find the idea absurd. But so few of these amazingly varied perspectives are actually being heard in the media. I Do / I Don't brilliantly rectifies this opinion gap with an eye-opening array of over 100 pieces--poetry, fiction, essays, interviews, vows, love letters, and sermons--by the well-known as well as Jane Doe.

"The Dutch made it look simple in 2001...

"Obvious political and legal wrangling aside, same-sex marriage is clearly a hot-button issue. Now listen to what gay journalists, poets, writers, activists, artists, performers--from Margaret Cho to Patrick Califia to Felice Picano, and more--have to say. Pro, con, yay, nay. Commentary on personal experience (Christopher Bram on his 25-year relationship…and why he doesn't feel marriage is for him), and on the political (Dorothy Allison on feminism and the concept of marrying). Don't miss out on the real story--join editors Wharton and Philips in a resounding and rich discussion of one of the hottest issues of our time."

Quality Paperback Book Club

"Don't expect to find new short stories by fiction writers Ian Philips and Greg Wharton in their latest anthology, I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage—the San Francisco editors and writers who make up the publishing team of Suspect Thoughts Press have assembled an impressive 132 contributions from journalists, comedians, politicians, and literary talents writing on the pros and cons and "I don't really cares" of same-sex weddings."

—Jameson Currier, author of Desire, Lust, Passion, Sex

Read the full feature here.

release: September 2004
queer studies/anthology
softcover, 6X9
384 pages
$16.95
0-9746388-7-0

 

 

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