I'm not what you'd really call a trouble-maker, but I'm never one to shy away from controversial subjects, I love good fierce discussions on hard topics, and I guess, if I'm being truthful, I do like to push buttons now and then.

That might be obvious from publishing the web magazine suspect thoughts: a journal of subversive writing since 2000, which contains a heck of a lot of material that could be considered truly subversive. This could also be said of various projects I've edited, and of my publishing company Suspect Thoughts Press.

The first clue that Suspect Thoughts Press' newest baby The Best of the Best Meat Erotica would push some folks' buttons was my choice for the cover, both brilliantly shot and designed by Shane Luitjens. He did a perfect job of capturing the tone of the book. Sexy. Fun. Crazy, yes. But tasty. Very tasty.

And it's a really good book. I want it to be judged by the merit of the writing. But a little beefcake on the cover, and a few slightly pushed buttons never hurt on the promotional front.

The first inklings of choppy waters were some of the responses from the initial postcard-mailing blitz for the book to several hundred independent and LGBT bookstores. This comment came last week via email from one store (whose identity will remain unnamed):

We don't know who you are, but if we receive any more porno postcard such as the best of the best meat erotica we send the local police after you.

We are shamed that our postoffice and carrier saw that we received such filth, who knows what they are thinking. NO more mail, e-mails or any communication from you or your company. Please make sure that I don't receive e-mails because I went on your website to get an e-mail address.

Not the most articulate, but heartfelt! Ah… I'm on to something here.

Then a real storm whipped up.

On the evening of Wednesday, December 11, the phone rang. The caller introduced himself as an employee of UPS, then asked "You have a UPS shipment in route to Canada?" which he followed with a simple statement that it is not possible to transport pornography to Canada. [I'm paraphrasing.]

After he told me my shipment of The Best of the Best Meat Erotica was detained in route to my Canadian distributor, Marginal Distribution, and found to be considered pornographic, I quickly described the books content--making him giggle at the theme and title--hoping he (they) would see the folly in their deed. He told me he'd "run over" and talk to those that had "made the decision" and call me right back.

He did call right back. No dice. UPS had assessed the content of the shipment and considered it to be pornographic. According to the powers that be at this specific San Francisco UPS hub, there was no reason to ship it further since it would never cross the border. It would be seized at Canada for sure. The shipment will be returned to me. End of discussion. Thank you. Click.

I know well of the Canadian Customs hi-jinx, most notably the ongoing battle and court cases between Vancouver's Little Sister's Bookstore and Canadian Customs. So I was quick to assume--not having dealt with this personally before, and my other titles reaching Marginal Distribution and the bookstores that they service without incident--that this indeed was Canadian Customs' fault.

Banned in Canada?

No.

This had nothing to do with Canadian Customs, or any Canadian laws regarding pornography and obscenity. Through discussions with UPS International, UPS Canada, and then my distributor, I realized that they (UPS) are under no authority to make decisions on what will or will not pass through Canadian Customs. Though I've been hard pressed to find any clear facts as to what exactly isn't permissible, all three discussions ended with the conclusion that there shouldn't be a problem with my shipment of books getting where they were headed--into Canada and through Canadian Customs that is.

Banned by UPS?

Yes.

There was no problem with Canadian Customs: this was a decision made solely by UPS. Or rather, by one individual who works for UPS in their San Francisco hub who took it upon his/herself to make a decision on what exactly obscene material was. How fortunate we are that there are such reasonable watchdogs in the U.S.

On the afternoon of Thursday, December 12, I went to retrieve my mail at our postal box station and was greeted by "Hey! Canada says you're pornographic!" I knew the shipment would be there returned and waiting for me, but how did he know that (incorrect) detail of the situation?

The box was covered by yellow UPS tape to seal it back up, and scribbled on with black marker, most of the words crossed out and not easy to read. What was easy to read was the large lettering clear across the top that read PORNOGRAPHIC and PROHIBITED. Along with the official customs invoice (correctly filled out in triplicate) in its clear pocket on the side--only now sealed closed with more tape--was the packing slip that originally had been in an envelope inside the box. No form, letter, or explanation was attached. My shipment had been opened, inspected by someone who has no authority to judge obscenity on behalf of Canada, deemed pornographic and inappropriate for shipment any further than San Francisco, and redelivered to my business mailing address defaced.

Maybe I'm making too much of the issue. UPS is a privately owned corporation. They have the right to ship, or not ship, whatever they choose, for whatever reasons. Right?

Besides my time and energy. Nothing was lost. So far. No product seized and burned. My shipment of The Best of the Best Meat Erotica to my Canadian distributor has yet to make it to Canadian Customs. It is now making its way through the United States Postal System. I'll just have to be patient. It seems that here in the U.S. (home of "free speech"), not only the public sector but the private sector has taken it upon themselves to define what actually is obscene--a far greater obstacle, a much higher hoop to leap through, than any Canada Customs agent. But I can jump pretty darn high, damn it.

Paranoid?

Yes.

But, as a friend and great erotic author recently stated to me in an email regarding her own personal mail, press, books, etc. not showing up to her home in Toronto, Canada from various U.S. publishers:

Just cuz I am paranoid doesn't mean I don't have a reason to be.